A difficult Friday

Friday was a difficult day.  I had a very nice walk with Rob the night before, and I was calm and supportive.  He gave me a couple of delicious tomatoes.  He did expressive a lot of concern about the mustiness in the apartment and the 70% humidity saying it was very unhealthy.  When I got home I was pretty freaked and I wrote Heather a very powerful email relating what Rob had said and mentioning my lupus and asthma, along with my stay in the hospital for pneumonia.  I was very upset in the letter and in the morning I got a response telling me that they were going to buy me a humidifier and that maintenance would put it in today.  She said that I could get out of my lease if I wished but I told her that this would be a terrible time to have to look for a place and then move right in the middle of my semester.  I spent the morning doing my knee exercises, singing some, and feeling that I was in an unhealthy place.  I wanted to leave and I contacted Claire but when the maintenance guy didn’t come by one I had to reschedule with Claire for next week.  Finally, around 2, the maintenance fellow appeared and brought me a used humidifier and set it up.  It didn’t seem to be working at first (I vaguely remembered that humidifiers take a while to start working) and then water began to drip out of the hose and the humidity started to drop a couple of percentage points.  That was encouraging and with 3 fans going and the air cleaner (with a fan) the mustiness was greatly diminished.  Around 4 I decided to go take a drive but I was very indecisive as where to go, first thinking Tech but I could see that it would be very crowded and I would be finished with my walk or biking right around 5 and that meant driving with very heavy traffic.  Instead, I headed out toward Big Stony and decided to ride out by Glen Alton and that was okay although my down mood kept it from being a more rewarding moment.  I pedaled hard up to Glen Alton, hoping to make the ride as aerobic as possible, and then stopped on the way back to take some pictures of a lovely patch of cardinal flower (which I sent to Kate and Rob later).  I finished my ride and then stopped at the whistle stop rest area to try to take a nap but that didn’t work so I drove back and decided to go fishing out on Sinking Creek.  Cathy was there so I pulled my chair over and started chatting with her and it really hit me what a tough life she has had, much, much tougher that anything I have endured, then David returned from work and we chatted some more and he told my of his work which seemed pretty hard, fixing up a couple of houses.  Then I went fishing and finally caught one nice redeye and left feeling bad about the two of them, and wishing I could help them out a bit, but I have to be very careful with my money right now.  Perhaps after I talk to the financial advisor I will feel a little more optimistic, but I have a feeling that I really have to work for at least 3 more years and perhaps even longer.  Three and a half years would put me at 70 and Lou will be working at least till 72, Paul worked till 70, Rob wants to work to at least 70, so it shouldn’t be unrealistic unless I get very sick again.  I drove to Tech and took a short ride around campus and then came back to the Perry Street garage and did 4 ramps before calling it quits.  Now I had to return home, but I stopped at Kroger for some musty odor reducing detergent and some fruit.  Arriving home I was very happy that the humidity was below 50 (actually 48) and I made some dinner and watched TV while doing a few sets of weights and stretching.  I wonder why my mood is so troubled.  If it is prednisone, I should be off it in 3 months and I hope that as I go on a lower dose my mood will improve.  If it isn’t because of the prednisone, I may have to go on an anxiety drug.  Time is really standing still.  If I have a few hours with nothing to do it bothers me, making me feel anxious and restless.  Hopefully once I start teaching on the 27^th, I will feel better.  I talked to Dave in the early afternoon and it seemed not to be a very good conversation.  He is still not sure what to do about his marriage and he wants to just continue keeping it the way it is.  That is his choice and I told him that.  I believe he will continue this way as long as he can.