Sunday, May 23, 2010

My poem about solar power is taking some interesting turns and I am going to show the students in the poetry writing class both drafts. It should illustrate a few of the things the book recommends.
I am also working on my syllabi for the fall. I have a good plan for the Environmental Literature course, and I think I have fine tuned the poetry writing course to make it more effective for the students.
My knee is bothering me more and when I examined it this morning it was pretty swollen. Yesterday I did some work around the house, went for a pretty long walk with Rob, played golf and then went fishing in the New river just before dark. Duh! I guess doing all those things may have contributed to my swollen knee. Today I was going to go kayaking and then play golf but my knee is really a problem so I am going to do my best to take it easy. I am heading up to Roanoke and then to the Blue Ridge Parkway. I may take a very gentle walk. The good news is that my knee has swollen before and it has always recovered.
I was thinking about my “Rebirth in the Hollow” theme (which is the central focus of my blog). I certainly have taken a different attitude toward all the tasks in the hollow. Before I would have my ex-partner help me with many jobs—a role she didn’t like because I would often get frustrated since I don’t have all the necessary handyman skills—and now I have to do everything myself (except for a few of the bigger jobs that Mike has helped me with). It has taught me to be a little more patient, and that is a modicum of change. Spiritually, I still have a deep love and connection with the hollow—I spent several weeks agonizing over what would happen to my favorite white pine when I have to sell the property—and finally decided that the pine has to stay and I will deduct money to build the dirt road out a bit to protect the pine. But I wish I were a much more spiritual person or at least more meditative. My friend and quasi guru Jeff—who is a yoga instructor and very meditative—says that my writing, fly fishing, kayaking and nature walks are all forms of meditation, but I am not sure. When I was younger I always hoped for a visionary experience (I have done a couple of vision quests and I co-led a shamanic drumming group for many years) but none has ever come. My friend Judith who has studied the shamanic tradition and was initiated into certain African societies always said that that vision would come when I really needed it. I’m not sure.
I guess I have changed a little in terms of wanting another relationship. Previously, when a connection ended, I would be rather desperate to be involved, but this time I am much calmer. I went out with a couple of women but I could see that I wasn’t interested in either and I backed away quickly with no sense of failure. If someone comes around that would suit me—and I have to say that my ex-partner was a terrific fit in many ways—I will explore the situation. However, I am glad that I will be able to travel this summer without rushing home. Last summer’s return was awful for it is now clear to me that my ex had already decided before I returned home that she was leaving and so my joyful homecoming was anything but. Again, I hope she is happy and with someone who treats her better than I did.

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