In the hospital for 4 days and now out for 5

I may have lost my recent entries so I will start again. On Wednesday, Rob and Trivedi agreed that I should start the cytoxin as soon as possible so I closed down the house, watered the green house real well and then packed my bag for the hospital. They couldn’t get me a direct room so I had to go through the emergency room and ended up waiting there for almost 5 hours before they could get me into an er examining room. The bed was tiny but finally they were able to transfer me to another er room with at least a TV. Finally after 26 hours in the er, I was able to get to a regular shared room on one of the units. They drew blood four times and gave me lots of medications through the intravenous because they were worried about pneumonia. They said that I couldn’t start the new treatment for two weeks after getting better. They did think I might get out on Saturday. The rest of Wednesday was okay except that when I went to bed at around midnight, totally exhausted, a nurse came in at 2 waking me up to draw blood (I later learned that that can be done up to 7 am). I did get back to sleep but that disruption was unnecessary. The four walks I took during the day helped. On Thursday they did an echocardiogram and that was fine as was my earlier ekg and my chest x-ray. They took lots of blood and I did some walks and watched the first round of the masters and details from the tomahawk missle attack on Syria, which I agree with after Hassad’s chemical attack killing women and children. Friday was boring and I got the news that I might have an infection in my blood and that I was going to have to stay at least till Monday, very disappointing news. I was pretty down but fortunately Claire came to visit and I had a good and very emotional chat with her. She thinks selling the hollow is the right thing, as I really do. I told her I was feeling very trapped and cried a little here and there. I want to sell the hollow first and then I will decide on whether to buy a small new house or rent. I also spoke about having to cut back on my travels and that I really need to teach till December 18. We talked about her and Luke working on their new house and she shared a couple of stories about her manipulative mother-in-law. It really helped to be able to talk so freely with her. She said she would try to visit on Sunday. Maddie enjoyed Wake Forest and Cathy is going to visit tomorrow I hope. I also watched the second round of the masters and did several walks. I worked on my blog some and then around 10 tried to read some Crime and Punishment out in the empty visiitors’ room but my eyes quickly tired and I went back to my room to watch TV. Matt, who has been a wonderful person to me, chatting about my condition, telling me I am going to get well, joking with me, got me my last meds, and I then turned off the TV and started to go to bed. However, my roommate’s beeper started double beeping every ten minutes or so and kept waking me up. After about 6 or 7 times I pressed the call button for Matt and he came and said the noise was from my roommate’s mask not being on right and he fixed it. I was upset that I hadn’t been able to get to sleep and just as I was drifting off again, a nurse came in to take my vital signs after I thought they were going to finally leave me alone to get some so needed sleep. I panicked and said that they had to let me alone, that I was totally upset, that I didn’t think I was going to make it, that I had to sleep to heal. I was crying and coughing and Matt tried to comfort me and then said he would try to get me something to calm me down and he did, a 2.5 mg valium. I took it and begged him to let me sleep till at least 3, 4 being better and he said he was do his best to make sure that I got at least 3 hours of sleep. Obviously he did because no one bothered me till 4 and I awoke feeling much better. I got blood drawn about 5 and the woman who did it said to me, when I said that I finally got to sleep some, that you don’t sleep in hospitals. Later I went over my whole hospital stay with Matt and he admitted I had done nothing wrong, that I had been polite (except with Alex on Wednesday when I got nervous about not being able to use my lidocaine (which came from my last hospital stay here)during my first blood draw) and cooperative. He said he would have some one come talk to me about the situation and said he would do his best to make sure I could get some sleep tonight and tomorrow night. I do feel okay now after talking with him and writing up my blog so I have a solid record of what went on. I talked to Dr. Pant in the morning and I got a little excited with him as I told my story but he agreed to put me on a more regular blood pressure schedule and to try to make sure no one bothered me from midnight till at least four. I talked to the little woman doctor and she was friendly and I told her most of my story and she seemed sympathetic. The good news is that I may get out tomorrow and that would be a blessing. I took several walks and during my last one I felt stronger and my breathing was better. In fact, I have only had one nebulizer today (although I hope to get a second before I go to bed). I had a nice chat with Matt about the hollow and he fly fishes the new in a kayak. Sharon I had a nice visit with Cathy and Claire and Maddie and Maddie had a good time at Wake and they think they found a good apartment for the girls. The rest of Saturday went okay with some walks and hoping for me to get out tomorrow. Matt set it up that no one would bother me after midnight and that allowed me to sleep pretty well. I was worried that I would have to have blood drawn before I fell asleep but no one came and I didn’t say anything. In the morning I was anxious about getting home and getting blood drawn and when I finally asked they said I would have to have it drawn before they could release me so I took half a valium and 25 minutes later I had my last blood draw and then the Dr. Pant came and told me I could be released and went over what was going to happen with my meds and treatment. Claire had come to visit around 11:15 and we had a nice chat and she showed me pictures of the work they were doing on the new house. I started packing my stuff and about 1:30 they took me in the wheelchair to my trip and I was out of the hospital. I cried for a few seconds then started driving toward Radford, slowly, feeling rather tentative but glad to be out of the hospital. I passed RU and then drove on to look at one of the houses on Darbi’s list and it was perfectly okay with a garage in the back but very close to the other houses. I then drove over to Walmart to get my meds and some supplies and then I headed home very slowly. When I got to the gate I was choked up, glad to be there but again with this very temporary feel to it as if it might not last long. I stopped at a patch of bluebells near my gate and took several photos and sent one to Kate, then drove to the house. I unloaded a few things, watched some of the Masters, put things away feeling good about my energy level and my breathing. I went out and watered the greenhouse, which did fine while I was away, then went out on the porch with a cup of tea and noticed how swollen my ankle was so I put a compression sock on and sat for at least twenty minutes before headed down to the pasture to send out some texts with the bluebell picture and keeping my legs up in the air and then watching the moon rise before I headed back up to the house. I did a little more straightening out and then shaved and showered. I got very cold for some reason and the house temp is close to 80 but I want to be warm. I have prayed many times today to get healthy and I hope nature and whatever other higher powers are out there will keep me on the road to recovery. Monday was a hard day. I had a slow morning with almost no energy and I was feeling negative and with very little hope of recovery. Trapped is the best word. But later I got some energy and did my knee exercises, rode the stationary bike for 15 minutes, and did one set of weights. I straightened up the house some more and that feels better. Earlier I drove down to the pasture to check out the pellet gun and it was working fine. I took a short nap and then headed into town to get rid of the garbage I had left in my truck while I was in the hospital, and then headed to the Gallos. I showed them how to use the pellet gun and Lou practiced a little and hit a soda can with it. Then we waited and the groundhog did show up and eventually I got three shots at it and the third time it didn’t come back out of its hole so I may have hit it the last time. Lou and I had a very good talk and then Cathy joined and I became very emotional, and I told them my fears that I am not going to make it, but they were both very positive and on leaving Lou and I hugged while I cried and I hugged Cathy and cried and thanked them for their friendship. I drove home slowly, stopping at McDonalds for a southwest salad and then home where I did a little more straightening out and watching TV. Tuesday was an easier day. I was able to do three sets of weights, trim the road to the orchard a little, then I walked up to the orchard and that felt good. My breathing felt better and I coughed just a few times. I also did my knee exercises and did more work around the house. I talked to Darbi and she agreed to come out tomorrow so I could sign the realtor contract with her. She needed the survey and the easement so I decided to drive to my office to get them. After picking up all the Reese Hollow stuff I headed to Panera for soup and salad and then to Walmart for supplies. Getting home late was helpful as I had less time to stay awake and brood. Wednesday was also a little better. Sam came out to do the pest control and we had a long talk about Jesus. I mentioned my roommate in the hospital and how I spoke with him about Jesus and also about my helping Kerie out and how she is praying for me. Sam said he was praying for me also and he said I should search to find Jesus. I told him about my shamanic studies and my vision quests and how I had never had a real spiritual enlightenment (no visions or power animals) but that my faith had always been in nature. He was very kind (he is a pastor of a Pentecostal Church) and I gave him a signed copy of my Neversink book. Maddie emailed me to see how I was doing and I told her that I was doing better and that each step on my hike was on the path to recovery (I hope). Darbi came out and I gave her a lot of stuff and she will start listing the hollow later this week at 249K to start. She stayed for over 2 hours and I was totally exhausted when she finally left. She took pictures inside and out and thought the hollow was a lovely place and that she thought she could sell it reasonably quickly. I emailed Craig to update him on my health and that I am selling the hollow because it is too hard to live out here. He was friendly and wished my well. I got a call from Jenny and tried to call her back but didn’t get her and I left a message with Kelly to call me back. I am pretty lonely and down right now but I have to push on and hope my health gets better. Thursday had its ups and downs. I took my hike up to the orchard twice and felt almost normal on the way back down. Ground ivy, chickweed, the cherries and apples flowering, trilliums and bluebells and the wild geranium along with spring beauties. I talked to Claire Hall and she was very supportive. I also talked to Kelly and she was also very supportive. I also talked to Jenny and she was very tender and supportive. Then Gyorgyi called to invite me to lunch we met at Mellow Mushroom and had a good chat. After that I went to get my blood drawn but my veins were too hard from the hospital stay and Valarie couldn’t draw any blood despite trying 4 different times so I have to come back tomorrow, not at all what I planned. I took a brief nap in the truck in the front seat and then I rested again when I got the Radford to post my blog. I saw Tim Poland and chatted with him and then saw Don Secreast and his wife and chatted with them. I am down and if this keeps up I may ask Rob to give me something to help my mood particularly in the evening. Time seems so slow but the good thing is I am five days out of the hospital and I am so hopeful that I can get on the new treatment soon and that it will help.