Rise and Fall

Saturday turned out to be a very active day.  I did my knee exercises, unloaded a few things from the truck, went for a 40 minute walk over at Tech, played golf (because it was slow I ended up playing 13 holes) very well, then trying to nap a bit but instead heading out to fish on Sinking creek, then heading back to Tech to ride my  bike for 40 minutes.  I watched TV until 12:15 then went to bed pretty tired and slept till 6:30.  Unfortunately, when I got up I was a little anxious (mainly about my finances, but also about the trip to Charlottesville and then to Williamsburg, and probably a little bit about starting teaching again).  I did not look at my retirement stuff, even though I really wanted to, so that was good.  I look back at my trip to California and how difficult it was at points.  I spent over 5K on it, and I did enjoy the scenery and seeing Dave, and Patty and Josh and their kids, but it was a struggle and at least half the trip my energy level was very low.  So I wonder, do I want to go to Denver next summer and perhaps visit Dave in Las Vegas (it would be very hot there, which I don’t handle well at all)?  It would cost around 4K, and is that smart to do.  But if I worry too much about finances the next few years, I may be unable to travel later on.  I certainly have a limited window of traveling (maybe five years or so) but it has gotten so much harder now.  In trying to be honest with myself, I have to day that I have great ambivalence toward traveling.  I am not really looking forward to driving to Williamsburg, or to Pittsburg or going to see John at Thanksgiving or Roberta over winter break.  Even though I am feeling well right now, will I be able to stay off the lupus drugs.  That certainly is a legitimate worry.