Is There Any Hope Left

Wednesday was a very strange and it may be the day that I decided to end my journey.   I awoke feeling even more anxious and at one point I started to cry.  I was also very tired feeling and I knew it was the cellcept.  I have no reason right now to be very anxious or unreasonably tired.  It was getting more and more like last summer when I was so very tired and so very anxious.  Despite remaining tired I decided to go play golf and amazingly, I played incredibly well and shot a 40.  I then decided to nap and I think I did drift off, then I drove out to David’s place and caught 3 nice bass, then coming back I was partially run off the road by a small gray car.  I called the police but I doubt anything will come of it.  Then I called Rob and I was hysterical about what the cellcept was doing to me, that it was just like last summer and I do think the cellcept and perhaps the high dose of prednisone back then, contributed to my selling the hollow at such a low price.  It was during this time that Rob put me on Zoloft but that was a total failure.  I told Rob that I won’t go through that hell again and that I would rather die.  I think I am sincere about that.  I called Dr. Ghosheh about the situation and also wrote to Dr. Kalantari.  If they can’t do something for me I don’t see much hope of continuing on.  I’ve suffered for 18 months and that is enough.